On Wednesday, I wrote about the importance of showing your characters’ thoughts in your writing—especially your main character’s thoughts—and gave examples for a first person point-of-view narrative. But what about third person narrators? How do you portray a character’s thoughts here without a constant stream of “he thought this” and “she thought that”? Here are some ideas…
Third Person Limited: In this point of view, the narrative is written as if someone is peering over your main character’s shoulder to tell the story. (Examples below are from Cassandra Clare’s City of Bones.)
- Recount a memory: “An image rose in Clary’s mind. Her mother’s back, not quite covered by her bathing suit top, the blades of her shoulders and the curves of her spine dappled with narrow, white marks. It was like something she had seen in a dream…” In this case, the author specifically tells the reader that this is a thought.
- Tell what your character thinks indirectly: “Simon’s band never actually produced any music. Mostly they sat around in Simon’s living room, fighting about potential names and band logos.” Here the author doesn’t say “Clary knew” or “Clary thought”, just dives straight into the info.
- Tell what your character thinks directly: “She sometimes wondered if any of them could actually play an instrument.”
- Write thoughts as pseudo-dialog: “Okay, she told herself. Everything’s fine.” Authors sometimes denote thoughts with italics, but it’s a technique best used sparingly.
I love the examples above because in every instance, Cassandra Clare uses Clary’s thoughts to accomplish multiple purposes. In the first, she paints a picture of Clary’s memory while simultaneously doling out important plot information. In the second and third, she breaks up the narrative with a bit of humor while showing Clary’s attitude toward her friend Simon. In the last, we see Clary trying to reassure herself, but in context, her thought only heightens the tension.
Which of these techniques do you use in your writing? If you have other examples, I’d love to hear them!