I just returned home after spending almost a week in upstate New York, seeing family. It was a strange sort of visit because 1) it was just me visiting, and 2) I visited just one household. I left my husband, kids, and dogs behind, rather than packing up the whole gang for our usual cross-country expedition; and although I got to see lots of different family members, I didn’t try to see everyone, the way I usually would.
I also didn’t try to keep up with work, write a daily word or page count, or even pop into social media (except the occasional Facebook “like” when my sister posted about what we were doing!) I was there to see people–to talk to them, hang out with them, be part of their lives for a while, and generally get to know them and find out what’s going on in their lives.
This type of visit might not sound that earth-shattering to some of you, but the truth is that I might be just a teensy bit of a workaholic. (I’m not admitting that I am a workaholic, mind you–just admitting that it’s a distinct possibility….) Setting aside work for almost a week–not just “work” work, but also child-wrangling, laundry, scheduling, emails, and all the other day-to-day minutia of modern life–was a new concept for me. It felt kinda weird.
There’s something safe and familiar about staying busy, ya know? It gives me an easy exit if conversations get too intense (“I really have to spend some time working…”). It makes me feel valuable, maybe ever-so-slightly self-important (Look, mom, the world can’t really keep on ticking if I don’t check my emails and get back to my Important Clients and do my Important Work and other Important Stuff…) Staying busy makes it easier to stay a safe distance from worries because you can just straight to solutions, bypassing those pesky emotions altogether. (Yes, yes, stop talking about feelings, let’s FIX THINGS, okay? That makes me feel in control again….)